THE CAT AND THE HAT
by mystandmemory
Summary: well...i hope you like mercury the cat and the sorting hat, and my summaries suck, but you'll like da story anyways!!!
1. chapter 1: the new chicks

Disclaimer: The plot is mine. The psychopath named Kaliana Jean Peters is also mine. MINE! No stealeth!!!! Tarin is NOT mine. She belongs to Vilyanar. The rest I'm sure you recognize. Those are NOT!!!!! mine either. Darn it all. Oh and her Mom's mine too. Literally though...that's like my mom. Don't take my mommy please!!!! Mercury is my muse, and if you try to stealeth of her, she'll bite you. Thank you very much.  
  
A/N: Is to be corrected, first actual fic, just has taken forever to type.... read and review!!!!!!!  
  
"Platform 9 ¾? Mom! Are they serious?!?!" the chestnut-haired girl exclaimed, startling many passers-by on the narrow street of London.  
  
"I'm sure they are, and don't talk so loud! We already stand out!" whispered the anxious woman walking next to her.  
  
"Mother! It's not like they've never seen Americans before! Honestly! You're never like this at home!"  
  
"Well Kali, this is hardly New York! People there are accustomed to odd people and even odder things said. It's not like that here."  
  
"What is it about British folks then? Do they walk around with cotton in their ears, and a stick up their-"  
  
"Kaliana Jean Peters!"  
  
"Rears?" Kali finished, earning a glare from her mother, and anyone else who had heard her statement.  
  
"They obviously can hear you, and insulting them your first day in the country is definitely not the brightest thing you've done. So hold your tongue!!"  
  
"Mum! I-"  
  
"Not another word until we reach the train station."  
  
Kali calmed herself, She was having real problems adjusting to the whole 'proper, polite, prissy girl' facade that people kept expecting of her. And now she was going to spend two years in a foreign country, in a foreign school. The only advantage she felt she had at the moment was the magic her mother had let her work on her trunk, which now resided in the back pocket of her baggie muggle jeans. (Magic is legal under parents consent in America.) Her mother would make her un-magic it when they got to the train stat-  
  
"Train station!!! Mother! Why no subway, or flying, or-"  
  
Her mother silenced her with a glare. *** Once through the barrier, Kali's eyes were drawn to a figure dressed vastly different than her surroundings. A girl wearing maroon pants cut off halfway up her calves, black Converse, and a black shirt with the letters P.E.F. written in white. Her dark purple hair peeked out form under her white rimmed, black fisherman-style hat. She had a pocket chain, striped socks, and a grin on her face.  
  
Wait. I know that face!!!!  
  
"Tarin!!!" Kali yelled at the skater-looking girl.  
  
  
  
"Oh! Kali! Awesome. What're you doin' here?" She yelled back, skateboarding over. (Her board had been on the top of her trunk.)  
  
  
  
  
  
They did their version of a high five, (sliding, not slapping) and caught each other up in a hug.  
  
  
  
  
  
"So you a witch then?" Kali asked.  
  
  
  
  
  
"'Suppose so. That's what they keep tellin' me. My parentals 'sided ta move here, so I swapped schools. Wasn't too fond o' the other school anyways. Kept gettin' suspended. Not supposed ta board ta class y'know." She replied in her very laid-back way of talking.  
  
  
  
  
  
"So how's Cali? The other one. The state." Kali (the person) asked, thoroughly confusing herself.  
  
"Warm and sunny. Not like here. But you know that!! You lived there for 8 years!"  
  
"Yup. Hasn't changed much. Wished I lived there still."  
  
"Oh, I feel ya dude."  
  
  
  
"I gotta go say G'bye to me mum. See ya in 'bout 5 minutes."  
  
"Say hi to the old M.P. (Mommy Peters) for me, 'K?"  
  
***  
  
"Well, I'll see you over summer break then, mom." Kali said, kissing her mother's cheek on Platform 9 ¾. ("See, there is one!")  
  
  
  
  
  
"Say hello to Tarin for me and be good! I don't want a single owl from the principle-"  
  
"Headmaster."  
  
"Dumbledore saying you've done something wrong." She said fixing Kali with a glare belied by the grin spreading across her face and the twinkle of mischief in her eye.  
  
"Oh, have fun dearheart! You know I'll miss your grumpy face in the morning, and staying up to all hours of the night talking and watching funny movies with you! Make me proud!" She exclaimed with watering eyes, and then hugged her only daughter.  
  
"No worries! I'll write you whenever I can, and summer isn't that far way. I'll miss you!" She grabbed the trolley with her trunk and basket (Her mom did make her un-magic it.) and got onto the scarlet train.  
  
*** She was one of the last onto the train, and ran to the compartment with Tarin slouching expectantly there. As she was trying to get her trunk into the overhead bin, the door slammed open, hitting her arm. She dropped her trunk, and cursed when it came into contact with her toe. She glared at the red haired boys who had knocked it open. "Thanks. Thanks a lot."  
  
*****  
  
Fred and George said goodbye to their mother and got on the train, racing to their usual compartment. Fred pushed the door open to find a young American girl glaring at him. She flipped her long braid and said, "Thanks. Thanks a lot." Her purple haired, purple eyed, friend just stared.  
  
She leaned down to pick up her trunk, breaking the unblinking stare that was completely focused on him, holding him in place. Once she turned her silver-gilt eyes away he was able to shake it off and asked, "Do you mind if we share with you guys?"  
  
"No, not at all." She said sarcastically.  
  
"Whatever."  
  
***  
  
Damn Brits. Think they rule everything. Just wait until they meet Mercury. Ha!! They won't be staring at me with those identical expressions then, now will they? No. No the certainly won't. Seeing an animal of that size tends to distract most people.  
  
"Do you need help with that?" the second of the twins asked, as he closed the door.  
  
"Nope, I got it." Kali replied as she finally slid the massive trunk into place.  
  
The twins seemed to be a little taken aback at Kali's clothes, and kept staring as Kali got the basket holding Mercury out of the hallway.  
  
They finally got their trunks up, and flopped into the seats opposite hers and Tarin's, still watching as she pulled the basket next to her seat. Kali was too impatient, and finally snapped, "What?!?!"  
  
They both jumped, and an identical red flush spread across their faces. "Um, what are you wearing?" one murmured, looking bewildered at both of our casual clothing.  
  
Kali plopped gracelessly into her seat and crossed her green jean-clad legs. "Clothes. I hear it's something of a trend over here in the U.K." she replied dryly, and began tapping and humming along to her CD player.  
  
"Want to always feel like part of this was mine, I want to fall in love tonight, Crimson and Clover, over and over..."  
  
"Yeah, it is, but not those kinds of clothes." He bit his tongue to keep from saying, 'Except on guys.'  
  
Kali shrugged and pulled off her sweatshirt, putting it on the ground next to her. The twins read her shirt and laughed.  
  
It read, 'One by one the penguins steal my sanity.' In white lettering. (A/N: Think chiller font)  
  
Kali adjusted her white fingerless gloves, and shared a look with Tarin, who found it all vastly amusing.  
  
"By the way, what are your names? I'm assuming you're 7th years, as you look about 17."  
  
They stopped laughing and one replied, "Yeah, we're 7, and we're in our 17th year. I'm him and he's Fred."  
  
"Um...that's odd. Never heard of 17th year before. You must really like school."  
  
Fred cuffed his brother over the head. "Right George, we're 7 and you're me. Honestly, you'd be dangerous with a brain." He turned to Kali, " I'm Fred, this nitwit is George, and we're both 17. So what are your names?"  
  
"Kaliana. Friends call me Kali. And this is Tarin."  
  
"Okay, Kali, sorry about hitting you on the way in." Fred said, blushing scarlet again.  
  
"Yes, yes. You'll have to forgive my brother. He's a bit tipsy. Hit one too many times in the skull 'm afraid. Not that he was ever that smart, or graceful, for that matter. Ever." George said teasingly, earning another cuff to his head from his ever-blushing twin.  
  
"Well, I'm sure you two could insult each other all day long, especially once warmed to the task, but-" Kali was interrupted by the door banging open once again.  
  
"Maybe you should leave the insults to me. After all, I usually mean it." Drawled the blond intruder. He took in the scene and sneered. "So this is what Americans look like. Two girls, wishing they were boys, and two boys wishing they were girls. What a pretty picture you make." The twins flushed in anger this time, but when they looked over to Kali and Tarin they paused, shocked at the secretive grins spreading across their faces.  
  
"A boy? Oh how ironic." Kali said in an icy tone, standing and closing the gap between her and the sneering blond. "What would that make you then? If they wan to be girls, I suppose you'd be thrilled to date them. But then- maybe you like girls?"  
  
The blonde's sneer was replaced by a look of outrage. "Why you... you- you..."  
  
Kali smiled and stepped back. "Little too close to home there, eh, rich boy?"  
  
He growled and made to grab her, but she stepped back, saying, "Well then. If that's the way you feel about it. Maybe you should meet a friend of mine. Her name's Mercury." As she opened the basket.  
  
A large gold and silver tiger leapt gracefully out of the basket and landed right next to the grinning Kali. She scratched the feline head, thoroughly enjoying the effect it was having on the prat's composure.  
  
"She's my familiar. She's also very intelligent, and hungry at the moment. I'd suggest you be nice." She said sitting down again, seemingly ignoring both the blond, as well as the now terrified twins, who had plastered themselves to the far wall.  
  
"Well, I'll just be going then, won't I?" said the terrified blond, attempting to look dignified as he closed the door and strode off.  
  
Kali and Tarin burst into giggles, collapsing further into their seats. Mercury lay her head on the frayed knees of Kali's pants, apparently content. The twins seemed to relax a bit, and sank into their seats, eyeing the now-purring predator.  
  
"Remind us to never get you upset with us, eh Kali?" said Fred, gripping the seat so hard that his knuckles began to turn white. She stopped giggling, though she didn't lose her smile, and said, "Don't worry, Mercury won't hurt you unless I command her to. And I wouldn't do that to classmates, I promise."  
  
"Do you hear that Fred? She likes us. Imagine that. A Yank's taken a fancy to us. Mum will never believe it!"  
  
"What about you?" Fred asked Tarin.  
  
"Oh, you're okay, I s'pose."  
  
"So why'd you say that 'bout Malfoy?"  
  
"Ugh. His name is Malfoy? First or last?" Her nose scrunched up in distaste.  
  
"Last. First is Draco."  
  
As they continued their discussion, Kali couldn't help but notice that Tarin seemed veeeeeery interested in this Draco character.... 


	2. Chapter 2: the sorting hat bit

Disclaimer: Hah!!!! As if I could actually come up with this stuff!! If you believe that, then go ahead sue me. Looks at J.K.'s lawyers Just kidding there...  
  
A/N: Yea!!! Chapter two!!!! Behold!!! The power of cheese!! ('Tis good for inspiration you know.)  
  
~~~~~~~~ The Sorting Hat  
  
"Well, Ms. Peters, Ms. Scott, I see you've made it to school safely, and have met the Weasley brothers." Said the tall scholarly figure, who could only be the Headmaster, standing on the steps leading up to the school. He had interrupted their giggles as Fred's joke, but then, they had been giggling ever since the Draco incident anyways. "Ms. Scott, Ms. Peters, would you please follow me to my office, we'll see about getting you sorted."  
  
"Bye guys."  
  
"See you in a few, Kali."  
  
~~~~~~~~  
  
"Welcome to Hogwarts. And I do hope you will enjoy the next two years with us." He said, once seated behind his desk.  
  
They had tried to keep up an uninterested facade, but some of their growing fascination had shown through on the way up to his rather remarkable office. Especially at the gargoyle guarding the doorway ("Pepper Imps!"), and then at Fawkes.  
  
"Well I think I speak for the both of us when I say 'Awesome!' So how is it that we're placed? There's been a mention of houses?" Kali prompted, smiling at Tarin's raised eyebrow.  
  
"Yes, yes. You will be sorted when Professor McGonagall brings the sorting hat. In the meantime, I wonder if you might tell me the origin of your rather remarkable familiar?" He said with a look of interest, his eyes flicking back and forth between Kali and Mercury, who winked. "Or perhaps, she'd rather say?"  
  
A low growl - nearly human, but with a definite feline quality - rumbled, "Perhaps." Followed by a low chuckle. " I'm of Siberia, where her father works. I did not belong there, and kali needed a friend. The good doctor found an answer to both of these problems in each other. Of course, a Kazat is hardly a normal pet, so they were doubly thrilled when they found she could attend this institution."  
  
Dumbledore listened to all this as though he were listening to an old friend bring him up to speed. Kali looked up with surprise akin to shock.  
  
"Mercury! You never talk that much to a stranger! Are you feeling well?" she asked, looking at Mercury as though she were seeing her in a new light.  
  
"I'm fine. This is a safe place." She said, as though that explained everything.  
  
"Well, thank you Lady Mercury. It's not everyday a Kazat feels safe, especially in such a highly populated location." He said with a small bow in her direction. "Ah. Professor McGonagall, lovely. I trust all is well?"  
  
An older lady with an exasperated look had entered with a frayed and dusty old hat.  
  
"Nearly Headmaster. Professor Trelawny made her stately way up the center aisle, right in the middle of the sorting, startling none to few students." She reported, looking as though she'd rather be 'startling' Professor Trelawny. "And with Professor Wills not here yet-"  
  
"Yes, I understand."  
  
Kali had stopped listening at the words 'Professor Wills'. Now she had a question she was just burning to ask.  
  
"Yes Kaliana?"  
  
"Please call me Kali. Um, well, is this Professor Wills by any chance Jessica Wills?"  
  
"Why yes." Dumbledore said with an air of surprise. "Do you know her?"  
  
"Not really. But she is my aunt."  
  
McGonagall cleared her throat and held up the hat.  
  
"Ah, right you are. We'll have to discuss this later, as you should both be sorted, and then the four of us need to make our way to the Great Hall." As he said this McGonagall stepped behind Tarin and placed the hat on her head.  
  
It seemed to almost think for a moment, before shouting "Gryffindor!" And completely startling both Tarin and Kali nearly out of their seats. McGonagall then placed the hat on Kali's head.  
  
The hat mumbled, "Another foreigner. Hmmmm..." and after about two minutes of similar mumblings it called out, "Wiccan Academy!" Kali took the hat off and looked expectantly at the Headmaster. His eyes twinkled and the professor looked as though someone had come and hit her over her head with a board, and she wasn't quite sure what to do about it.  
  
"Well. That's not the first time it wasn't able to choose one of our houses for a transfer student. Although, I believe the last time was roughly 3 centuries ago." He said, breaking the silence.  
  
"Right. So what exactly goes on then? I assume you have something you do..." Kali said, trailing off at the blank look plastered to both their faces. Tarin began to smile, and slapped Kali on the back. "Way ta go!!! You've baffled the teachers, and you haven't even made it to class yet!"  
  
"Well, I suppose you can stay in one of the single rooms." Dumbledore said suddenly. "We usually keep them for teachers, but there's one free...near the kitchens." He continued, as though it had all just occurred to him. (Which it might very well've, she reflected later.)  
  
"Who will she sit with then?" asked McGonagall.  
  
"I'd like to sit with Tarin...she is, after all, my best friend." Tarin winked, looking very self-satisfied.  
  
Dumbledore smiled, stood, and said, "Well, all's settled then. And now we best be getting to the Great Hall." as he was walking down the stairway with the three women close behind.  
  
Soon they reached a large set of doors, and the chattering of a thousand voices could be heard just beyond.  
  
"Minerva, if you would?"  
  
"Of course." She replied, and opened the doors with a flick of her wand.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A/N: Sorry it's so short... I swear, that took a lifetime to type. Or at least a grasshopper's lifetime. So... I hope you like it. I just had to get them sorted afore I continued....speaking of continued, don't stop commenting!! I love reviews! They make me feel all tingly-like....and I hand out chocolate Legolas-es too! 


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